A Christmas Prayer for Healing.

This Christmas I am saying prayers for christmas healing esspeciallyt for my family.It has been a fall/winter and year of great hardship and spiritual trials but God is so faithful.He is continually amazing me at his hand in my life and my situations despite the tools the devil throw in to deter and upset and distract me and my family.God is Healer of all the hurt and pain the devil and this world can throw our way, he is there when the world turns a cold uncaring shoulder. We can really know the condition of our hearts when the world pushes us to the limits of our faith and it feels helpless and hopeless. Our God is still there, Our God is still faithful, our God is still arms outstretches waiting to be theree for us. Our God is greater than all worldly earthly trials and our God is interceding for us hoping and trying to help us make that right decision. He loves us despite how much we have done to him he cares what happens to us no matter how many times we have turned from him no matter how many times we have denied his name.Peter denied him three times and yet Jesus still loved him infact Jesus loved him and treated him no differently knowing he was going to deny him.Wow a Jesus that knows we are going to deny him and loves us anyways? How much need the healing hand of God in my life and how undeserving I am to receive that hand, yet I know its on its way to me. HOw hard it is to imagine he has never left me that no matter how far I strayed from him he was always right next to me waiting for me to change my heart and choose him. He loves me and he wants to be here for my family to heal what so badly is broken.

There is a song call "inside out" by "hillsong united" and the words mean so much to me it says this

"A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
Should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out "

No matter how many times I fail? wow how much I have already done to this God and to know he is and always will be right there to take me back. GOD heal me heal my family help draw us close to you and teach us truley to be christ followers and not just talk the talk of a follower but to really seek you each and everyday for the rest of our lives. and may this christmas be the christmas we truley understand the GIFT you gave us by giving up your son for us. Thank you!

Bzzagent.bzzagent I am your blogger,pick me you will! ( yoda's voice)

What is bzzagent?visit bzzagent.com for all the sweet details.I love being a bZz agent and offering my unbiased opinion for free products I qualify for I am very excited and hopeful to try the holy grail of all the daily bzz's I have ever seen and it starts Wednesday the 28th of sept 2011 and I want is so bad! The campaign!? STAR WARS!!!!! Starwars recently was released a DVD/blu ray set of the entire star wars series and after 30 + years of amazing atarwars who dosent want a chance to own such a amazing piece of film history! And what a better time of year for a release that the holiday season. I will admit I want this collection for myself pretty badly however I have two other reasons I want to own this as well. Josiah and Gage, my sons, I grew up watching the star wars first three that were out and loved the thrill ad adventure of them from a early age and I would love to introduce all the magic of the force to my little jedi's this year!!!! One amazing thing is my kids don't have To wait for the prequels to happen like I did the can get caught up on all the action now! And another plus for the bzzagent team you get three bzz'ers for the price of one and who better about star wars than boys,right? so pick me you will(yoda's voice again) and you won't regret it. I look forward to using my powers of the force to get in on this one!!!!

(the photos were taken by me on our honeymoon trip to disney!)

A blink of an eye

It happens in a blink a flash te time it takes to look back. Why today these words are so powerful to bring tears even up my eyes I am so fearful for the millions of people that that rapture and blink of our eye will leave behind. Yet daily what am I doing or as the song by revive says and almost feels as if it is god speaking to me and for me directly. "what have I done with my life?" where do I even begin LOrd show me where I can be useful help me proclaim your word so even one more soul might not be lost in the hopelessness that is the eternal punishment of hell help me be you to a lost and otherwise hopeless world.how can I live each day this way so hardened or maybe just oblivious to the fact that you are coming and you are coming soon Oh dear God I do not want to see family and friends lost. I need direction clear direction from you God I need to know where you want me and what I am to do to serve you and this cause. You are gonna have all of me so use me and you see fit. I have wasted so Many years God that were yours and for that I am sorry I want to have that blink be awesome and not only for me but so many others I want you use me to reach this world help direct me,siting here typing I am lost for what that means for me and why I all the sudden tonight have such a urgency for this. Is this your gentle tug at my heart? Are you sharing your grief for lost souls with me. My heart my hands. My feet life is yours use it guide me cause I am confused where to begin. Matt 10:32 -33 but if anyone aknowledges me publicly I will acknowledge him before my father in heaven, but if anyone denies me here on earth I will deny that persona before my father in heaven.

All together now!

So after the last hour of copy and paste and trying to find the picture originally on each post I am happy to say my blog is almost exactly how i wanted it all in one place.ahh I feel accomplished.Baby in bed toddler in bed and blog done for today!Now to catch some zzzz's before they wake me in the moring to repeat this game again.Thanks for your patience in my getting my act together!

I have to laugh

So I have apparently been blogging under multiple posts since I started blogging.I guess. I am not as tech savvy as I would love to believe. I will sometime soon begin the transfer over of all the other posts and date them what they originally were so they may all be included in this blog. I Am enjoying my boys as always lately and I am starting to really begin to stress less in my mommy journey so many things do not happen that I would like to from Josiah's birth till now but it is all beyond our control and if it does not affect the big scheme of my and the boys lives I am making it my goal to roll with the punches. So what my children will hopefully be able to learn as well is life is not always predictable and perfect. But that is okay.I the proud mother of a very happy two year old and a giggly happy 5month old. They really rock my world an I love that God blessed joss and and I and made us their parents. I am thrilled to report as well Josiah is beggining to come along slightly in the speech department as well. This past weekend he shocked me by saying "cookout" " thank you" and "ice cream" I was so proud.! Yay for speech!!!!
Also I am very blessed to also mention Gage is starting to really get rid of his flat spot pm his head,double yay after months of positioning and lots of tummy time it almost is perfectly round. Although I gonna say the discovery of the "bumbo" seat a little over a month ago deserves a lot of credit as well.the seat is amazing its formed of foam and he slides in perfectly and it helps him sit ip independantly and has since 3 1/2 months. So thank you bumbo!!!!!
God continually has blessed me and joss with good health and that joss is still employed and even on weeks his work is slow we still are grateful for all he does daily. God also has blessed my family and friends as well, as you may recall in a past blog my sadness for a friend who was not able to have a baby yet despite all their efforts and hard prayers.our god is faithful that beautiful baby blessing is due to make his much anticipated grand entrance on early November so please keepom dad and this little one in your prayers the family greatly would appreciate it. And one final note to leave with after all this talking today is a verse from the book of Jeremiah 29 verse 11 that is one of my fave's it says I know the plans I have for you,plans to give you a future and hope. So live with hope knowing God is totally in control of whatever you are dealing with and he loves you too.

originally wrote on april 27 2011

Why does everyone assume speech delay = problems ????
I am so frusterated today yet another person has suggested my beautiful little happy boy has a problem.I do not get why people assume he has such a big problem this child just turned two in January and already his dr and my friends and my husbands friends and practicly every single person I know has suggested there is a problem or compares him to other children younger than him who talk more fluently. I undertstand people my two year old is slightly delayed however this does not always equal autism or a bigger problem many children have speech delays and overcome them completely and maybe that is my sons case,I am the queen of negativity myself dont you think the bad thoughts have ocured to me already??seriously I want to cry so bad and I wanna have people understand me and this child who isnt able to tell people his feelings and thoughts yet.Just because he is delayed dosent mean he dosent understand you when you say there is something off about his not speaking or such.Please God grant me the patience to deal with such comments and handle them with Grace as If I hear another I may definatly loose my cool for sure MY beautiful little boy is just that a beautiful and perfect creation of your mighty hand and he is perfect the way he is,I pray you continue to build his vocabulary and help people keep their opinions to them self.
I cannot tell you how it thrills me to hear his voice as he speaks and how it worrys me that it is so limited however to everyone reading this and judging me for it, I have no control over what this child chooses to absorb or how soon he translates that to words he speaks on his own I understand your concern.BUt really who is more concerned than someone who spends 24 hours every single day with him really?Who do you think would rather see this child communicate?YOu who see him once every two or so months or me who spends each waking moment with him?PLease Pray for my child JUdge him and me not just say a prayer,Rachel

just another day

April 2011
As april draws to a close my baby turns 3 months old and tips the scale at 13 pounds!I couldnt be a happier mother because he seemed to be gaining so slowley since he was out of the hospital a month ago but 13 lbs means this little boy has gained a little over a pound since he visited the pediatrician one month ago on the 22!Yay he is on track to being a big boy,frusterating though the sleeping situation isnt any better. Gage was every mom's dream day 3 home from the hospital after birth he slept through the night for the first time and was continuing that pattern 90% of the time till he got bronciolitis in march, and now he is up once to twice a night to eat.Whitch may contribitute to the weight gain a bit i am not sure but I really hope he goes back to all night sleeping soon. Millestones seem harder with Gage knowing we are not having anymore, yesterday I witnessed him roll about 180 almost making it to his belly and I was so excited but yet kinda sad too cause that means he is getting big.I look foward to this baby stage being done yet I know I am gonna miss parts of it too, like how much they like me and daddy at this age and I know when they are older they wont always.oh well that is how God created us right to be born and grow older.I Thank you God everyday for two healthy young boys and my wonderful husband and for great family and friends. I am so close to some family I even consider them more friends than family MY sisters are awesome and most days I would rather spend time with them than any friends. I love them so much.
Yesterday was easter and I am reminded again why I serve such a incredible God.How you can sacrifice your perfect son for the sins of another is beyond what my brain can comprehend, and to allow the to endure so much for such sinful people too. Wow That is uncoditianal love for sure. I was thinking about it yesterday and knowing how sinful my boys will be as they grow the thought of giving them up to save anyone else is unreal and Gods son was perfect yet he willingly did so. What a Awesome God we serve. And i people everywhere celebrate Easter I wonder how many really celebrate the resurection of God's perfect Son, given for our sin and rose from the dead.Or are the celebrating what socity has made easter?Egg hunts and Pictures at the mall with a giant man in a furry costume who calls him self the easter bunny?Any thoughts?
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No new incredible deals to report just plugging away at the old survey sites and opinion sites. What are you doing to earn extra cash or save money as the times grow tougher?
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May God bless You all and I hope you all get some incredible deals and sahre them with me if they are good and I will be sure and pay it foward!!

out of the cage

Being in the house all winter is definatly not my favorite thing about living up here in Ohio. I really start feeling like a caged animal by the time February hits.This year it feels horribly like that since I am now home full time.I am finding myself rather discouraged Josiah is yet to really begin talking and he turned two in January.His doctor seems to think he needs speech Therapy and while I think it wouldnt be a bad idea to explore The husband I think wants to wait it out as he beleives he will talk when he is ready. I am sure that he is right however being around a two year old who has multiple outbursts daily already and added on top sevrel more because he cannot comunicate through words what he would like is incredibly frusterating. Gage is growing fast at last Dr's appointment two weeks ago he weighed in at 11 pounds and 12 ounces. And was a whopping 23 1/2 inches long.That places him in the 50th percent for weight and 75th for height. No rolling yet just tons of smiles and a small laugh here and there for stupid things I do, but the precious toothless grin makes it all so worth while. Gage was hospitailized too recently with Bronchiolitis and the flu. He was put on a breathing machine and albuterol and recovered slowley but made almost a full recovery by week 4! These little boys of mine bring me more joy than I ever beleived they would.
I am so proud to say I purchased him (Gage)a crib myself, through survey websites and the gift cards the sent me to amazon.com and a 10$ off coupon to Amazon I received in a free issue of american baby I got him a Graco Lauren convertable crib. I was so ecited this was the same exact one we were looking to get him from BRU but held off on for finacial reasons. I have become quite thrifty these days anyways, besides the surveys for extra amazon cards or cash I have participated in a couple product trials like one for face wash that paid 20$!
And found some pretty excited deals on baby diapers and accecories we needed, I found pampers swaddlers on clearance for 7 dollars at target and used $2's off manafacturs coupons combined with a $1's off target coupons and walked away with two packs for $4 each.Kroger also had a similar deal recently they clearanced Pure and Natural diapers for 7.42 and I had $3 off coupons they sent in the mail from huggies so i got them for $4.42.Makes me feel like I am acctuually contributing to our finances when I have been able to make it so my husband has not personally had to buy a single diaper for our soon to be three month old yet. I love it! I am also thrilled to list some of the best survey websites at the bottom of this page if anyone is interested.they are a great source of small amounts of spending money and they are free and never have attempted to sell me anything. I will also include some site i have received free stuff from just because who doesnt love free stuff!

three days and counting

Only three more days with out baby number two.Dr has decided a date January the 24th!We are excited and I am nervous Also I can only imagine the ways my life is going to change in this next week and while some will be good I wonder so much how Josiah will deal with it.How is he going to handle being king of the house and then Big brother also.I just cant imagine what he will feel or think.
Especially leaving me at the hospital and coming home with Daddy for a couple nights that will definatly be different for this little almost two year old.
Yes almost two he will turn two in 9 days,My baby grew up so fast and is about to be the big brother.Ahhhhh!
I look so foward to the day my boys can be friends and play and color and interact together,I just pray God allows Josiah to take very well to his sibling on monday when he comes.So I guess all I am gonna do is pray and wait.So please pray for us as we welcome our new baby and adjust our other lil boy to life as a big brother.Thanks-RAchel

new baby is coming

The date has been set and I am starting to get quite nervous.I was so anxious with Josiah to have him and hold him and cuddle him.But this time is quite different I am excited however the excitement is tainted cause I remember the sleeplessness and exhaustion that accompanys new baby. I am very nervous about the c section this time around also,Last time I labored all day and JOsiah wouldnt make his way into the world so Dr decided it would be best to do a c. This time I have chosen to just scedule one and it is nerve racking I have recieved all sorts of paperwork from the hospital and my dr on what to do what not to do how to wash and telling me I have to pick up special antibactirial bodywash to use prior to surgery.ahh it was way easier last time.So please say a prayer for us over these next two weeks as I am a wreck I have prayed GOd to handle the situation and I know him and he will but a extra prayer of two cant hurt either so Thanks.